Far & Near | Rip Daddy!

I originally wrote this on Monday, August 24th, 2009 | I would wake up in the middle and the night and feel someone looking over me, watching me. I lost my father to a senseless act of violence when I was one years old. He was killed in the projects. Regent Park, Toronto, Ontario. I haven't been the same since. How could you love someone soo much you barely remember, I ask myself. It's something that transcends beyond reality. 

A man that will never have the chance to walk me down the aisle, smiles politely as he watches his daughter grow up. He is proud of me I hear. The wind tells me as it presses against my ear as I walk alone at nights.

I live in his name. His daughter who resembles him through vanity, personality, hustling, substance. You're my first King. You watch me blossom into a Queen from the nature around me.

Tony is what they call me.

You lay far from here.
Resting eternally
Faint smiles grace my face
As I think about your life.
Your passion for life.
Your dedication
Your sons and daughters
Your love for my mother. .
I wonder, if you think:
When will she give up this strife?
Of carrying me on..
Almost 16 years coming, and she always held on.
My place where you lay in my heart
Forever -
It will stay strong
As long as my heart beats
Your subtle, gentle love will prolong
I will never forget the face
of the first man I ever loved.
Your chestnut
light brown eyes
Piercing back
identically to mine.
I hear that's what we share in common, all the time.
When wild and graze thoughts run through my collective mind.
I look in the mirror
I reminisce about the -
time spent, and time lost
In times of sorrow
I reflect and look into the dark blue, midnight sky
wondering if your looking back at me. .
Wondering -
why God took you soo early - from me?
I smell your dark, musky scent
Even though you are far
I know you are following my footsteps as the days go bye.
Always steering me out of danger and surprise.
Everytime I need you near
I look into the mirror to see you, one more time.

Rip; August 24 1965 - November 17 1992

Midnight Marauder

Nude.

While the moon lights up her eyes.

Nipples to the sky.

Fingertips glide

Past her stomach

To her thighs

Singular sensations into the night

She arrives

The Thrill

"It's the thrill, I feel my heart beat racing
And I can't wait, can't wait..."
- Miguel


Taking photos are my favourite past time. Whenever I see something that catches my eyes, I cannot stop but click, even if I'm on the train or in the middle of a lecture. Black and White photos are extra special to me as they remind me of the past. They can make the most beautiful, light hearted thing into a rustic and edgy piece. When I'm not writing, I seclude myself from the world and take photos of things that tickle my fancy. I get a thrill out of transforming subjects into something that I can call my own. Something that has my own signature. Truth is, when it takes two hours to commute to work everyday, I have to do something to occupy my time on the way there. Ya know, "Stop and smell the roses..."
I want to be the Cruella De Vil of photography. 

Reflection Eternal.

To all the women chasing their dreams. It is within your reach. You're a supreme being. Never give up or lose hope in what you want to achieve and acquire. 

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The stars aligned on her day of birth

Providing the Earth with endless supply

Ripe, but never sour

Her planet more fruitful than any other

Rid of hunger and destruction

An eternal paradise

Constellations surround her

Extraterrestrial being

Supernatural order

Supernova

Forcefields of energy

Balls of light

Awakening sources of power

Light years away

Abstract calculations

Mathematics could not decipher or equate to her formula

The clouds are where she seeks rest

Her aura lights up the sky 

Through cryptic zodiac signs

Venus is at peace

Luna is her vessel

Electromagnetic radiation illuminate her being

Good God

You ever have a love soo divine you just want the world to know how it made/makes you feel. The type of love that feels heavenly. Godlike. Majestic. 

Almost like it's beyond your touch, grasp, sensations.

Their love becomes your religion, your praise, your glory.

Have you ever had a God Good in your life? 

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Upon meeting his presence

I dreamt of his essence

A love
So calm, soft, gentle
Decadent
My God
Everlasting reveries cloud my vision
His being provides
Immense satisfaction
Endless attraction
Sacrificial love

Love vs. Lust..

He who provides both love & lust is dangerous. 
Because if the love were to fade, that lust will have you crawling right back.
On your knees. 
Love. Yeah love is sweet, soft and beautiful. 
But lust. 
That shit will have you up at nights fiending, itching for a fix. 
Sometimes you want what makes you feel better, even if it's for the night. 
Lust can appear as love when its in your face or between your legs..

The day was, 

Saturday, July 4th, 2009 @ 11:09pm.

I love you like a mid-summers day

Peaceful, serene, harmonious

Your body has tremendous respect for mine

As you worship my temple

Pleasing my every need

Inviting my touch

Welcoming my scent

You softly glide over my innocent frame

Going soft but slow

Forming a pristine peace

Delicate rhythm 

You put me first

As a friend

Than a lover

Respecting my being

Believing

That I'm your one and only

Provides a humble closure

Each day

As I look into your kind, curious eyes

I discover something so profound 

New

I feel protected 

In a love so true

I lust after you like a smoldering hot day in July

Libress.

Her name will remain, her words will reign.
What I set out to do won't be easy. But nothing in life is.

Jeanesis

As humans, change is fixed.

It's expected.

Definite.

As a child many things influenced me whether it was the films I watched, music I listened to or conversations I had. Interestingly enough, reading/writing never appealed to me. However, what I seen and experienced provoked something inside. An urge to tell my story. My memories, dreams and feelings gave birth to writing. However, as of late, it has provided my being with incredible strength and comfort. I've had this gift all along and never pursued its intensity before. I feel like I cheated my destiny by not exuding what the Universe had given me.

jean·e·sis

Noun: The origin or formation of something.

Derived from the first book of the bible Genesis.

Jeanesis Is: Untraditional, Modern, Creation.

It's a way of life. It's looking into our selves and discovering our purpose, visions, thoughts, feelings. Finding the beauty in our lives, while sharing it with others.