I originally wrote this on Monday, August 24th, 2009 | I would wake up in the middle and the night and feel someone looking over me, watching me. I lost my father to a senseless act of violence when I was one years old. He was killed in the projects. Regent Park, Toronto, Ontario. I haven't been the same since. How could you love someone soo much you barely remember, I ask myself. It's something that transcends beyond reality.
A man that will never have the chance to walk me down the aisle, smiles politely as he watches his daughter grow up. He is proud of me I hear. The wind tells me as it presses against my ear as I walk alone at nights.
I live in his name. His daughter who resembles him through vanity, personality, hustling, substance. You're my first King. You watch me blossom into a Queen from the nature around me.
Tony is what they call me.
You lay far from here.
Resting eternally
Faint smiles grace my face
As I think about your life.
Your passion for life.
Your dedication
Your sons and daughters
Your love for my mother. .
I wonder, if you think:
When will she give up this strife?
Of carrying me on..
Almost 16 years coming, and she always held on.
My place where you lay in my heart
Forever -
It will stay strong
As long as my heart beats
Your subtle, gentle love will prolong
I will never forget the face
of the first man I ever loved.
Your chestnut
light brown eyes
Piercing back
identically to mine.
I hear that's what we share in common, all the time.
When wild and graze thoughts run through my collective mind.
I look in the mirror
I reminisce about the -
time spent, and time lost
In times of sorrow
I reflect and look into the dark blue, midnight sky
wondering if your looking back at me. .
Wondering -
why God took you soo early - from me?
I smell your dark, musky scent
Even though you are far
I know you are following my footsteps as the days go bye.
Always steering me out of danger and surprise.
Everytime I need you near
I look into the mirror to see you, one more time.
Rip; August 24 1965 - November 17 1992
